“I'm not getting older. I'm just becoming a classic.”
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AgeingBirthday
Humor Quotes
200 FAMOUS QUOTES · HUMOR
Humor Quotes
Read the best humor quotes on laughter, wit and seeing the funny side of life from Mark Twain, Chesterton, Shaw, Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll and more.
“At my age, "getting lucky" means finding my reading glasses on the first try.”
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AgeingFunny
“My knees now make more noise than my music system.”
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AgeingHealth
“You know you're getting older when your back goes out more than you do.”
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AgeingFunny
“Age is just a number. In my case, a very large and impressive number.”
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AgeingBirthday
“I used to party all night. Now I party until 9 p.m. and call it a late night.”
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AgeingSleep
“Grey hair is just wisdom showing through.”
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Grey HairWisdom
“The older I get, the better I was.”
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AgeingMemories
“I walked into a room and forgot why. Then I walked out and remembered. Then I forgot again.”
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MemoryAgeing
“Birthdays are good for your health. People who have the most birthdays live the longest.”
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BirthdayFunny
“My phone's battery and I have the same energy level by 4 p.m.”
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TechnologyTired
“Have you tried turning it off and on again? It works for computers and for Mondays.”
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TechnologyMondays
“I don't have a short attention span; I just... oh look, a notification.”
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TechnologyDistraction
“The Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I talked to my family. They seem like nice people.”
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Wi-FiFamily
“Autocorrect has ruined more conversations than bad manners ever did.”
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TechnologyTexting
“My password is so strong that even I can't get in.”
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PasswordsFunny
“Grandparents learning video calls see more of the ceiling than of the grandchildren.”
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GrandparentsTechnology
“I opened my phone to check the time and closed it forty minutes later, still not knowing the time.”
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PhoneTime
"Read" at 9:02 p.m. is the loneliest message status in the world.”
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TextingFunny
“My smart TV is smarter than me. It knows exactly when I fall asleep.”
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TechnologySleep
“Exams are the only time I study the ceiling more than the textbook.”
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ExamsStudents
“I'll start studying when the exam date is close. Wait, it's tomorrow?”
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ProcrastinationStudents
“Teachers say "This won't be on the test" and then it's the first question.”
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TeachersExams
“My handwriting is so bad that even I need a translator during exams.”
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HandwritingStudents
“Group project: where one person works and four people say, "Great job, team!"
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Group ProjectsSchool