“Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse.”
Miguel de Cervantes
Human NatureFunny
Humor Quotes
200 FAMOUS QUOTES · HUMOR
Humor Quotes
Read the best humor quotes on laughter, wit and seeing the funny side of life from Mark Twain, Chesterton, Shaw, Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll and more.
“Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.”
Jonathan Swift
PromisesWit
“We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.”
Jonathan Swift
FriendshipFunny
“You write with ease to show your breeding, but easy writing's vile hard reading.”
Richard Brinsley Sheridan
WritingWit
“The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.”
Charles Lamb
KindnessFunny
“Adulting is mostly wondering what to cook for dinner, every single day, for the rest of your life.”
WebFunFacts Team
AdultingFood
“My bed and I have a special relationship. It understands me, and my alarm clock is jealous.”
WebFunFacts Team
SleepMornings
“I'm not lazy. I'm just in energy-saving mode.”
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LazinessShort Quotes
“Nothing makes you feel more productive than cleaning your room instead of doing actual work.”
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ProcrastinationWork
“I told myself I'd go to the gym today. Then I told myself many other things too.”
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FitnessExcuses
“The best part of waking up is knowing you can go back to sleep on the weekend.”
WebFunFacts Team
WeekendSleep
“Every family group chat has one person who sends good morning messages at 5 a.m.”
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FamilyTechnology
“My wallet is like an onion: opening it makes me cry.”
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MoneyFunny
“Diet starts tomorrow. It has been starting tomorrow for several years now.”
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DietProcrastination
“I don't need an alarm clock. I have a mother who calls my name from the kitchen.”
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MotherMornings
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
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SmileAgeing
“I put my phone down for one minute and somehow missed the entire day.”
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TechnologyTime
“Online shopping: because walking to the shop is too much exercise for my wallet.”
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ShoppingMoney
“Monday is a terrible way to spend one-seventh of your life.”
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MondaysWork
“Some people bring happiness when they arrive. Others bring snacks, which is better.”
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FoodFriendship
“Traffic jams teach patience better than any philosophy book.”
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PatienceCity Life
“I have a perfect memory. I just forget where I kept it.”
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MemoryShort Quotes
“Every kitchen has one container lid that fits nothing and one container that has no lid.”
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KitchenFamily Life
“My favourite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.”
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FoodFitness
“Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else gets the chance.”
WebFunFacts Team
Self HumourConfidence