“I can never really remember what I look like. I'm just sort of neutral. I don't think I'm sort of, you know, hideous.”Sam Neill
Self Deprecating Quotes
26 FAMOUS QUOTES · SELF DEPRECATING
Self Deprecating Quotes
Read 26 famous self deprecating quotes from great authors, with links to more quote topics.
“When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.”Rodney Dangerfield
“I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a slingshot.”Rodney Dangerfield
“On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.”Rodney Dangerfield
“I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.”Rodney Dangerfield
“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.”Rodney Dangerfield
“Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, "Make me a zombie." He said, "God beat me to it."Rodney Dangerfield
“My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. I use my arms, badly.”Robin Williams
“It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.”Phyllis Diller
“My photographs don't do me justice; they just look like me.”Phyllis Diller
“Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.”Phyllis Diller
“Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.”Mitch Hedberg
“Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!”Mitch Hedberg
“Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”Groucho Marx
“I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”Groucho Marx
“I've got the brain of a four-year-old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.”Groucho Marx
“I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.”Bob Uecker
“Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.”Bob Uecker
“I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me.”Bob Uecker
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”Groucho Marx
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”Oscar Wilde
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin
“I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.”George Bernard Shaw
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?”Abraham Lincoln
“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.”
Robert Benchley