Wordplay Quotes

“Time wounds all heels.”

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”

“I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”

"Sir, you have the advantage of me." "Not yet I haven't, but wait till I get you outside."

“When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, how can that be? How can you not have all day?”

“Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”

“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.”

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?”

“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”

“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.”

“I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a part of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.”

“Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”

“I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.”

“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”

Mae West

"Happiness is no laughing matter."

Richard Whately

“I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

P. G. Wodehouse

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

Mae West

“It's déjà vu all over again.”

“Include me out.”

Samuel Goldwyn

“A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.”

Samuel Goldwyn