Will Rogers Quotes

“Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.”

“It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”

“Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.”

“The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.”

“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.”

“Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.”

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”

“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”

“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”

“I am not a member of any organised political party. I am a Democrat.”

“The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

“The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal: they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.”

“A fool and his money are soon elected.”

“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”

“If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.”

“Politics is applesauce.”

“Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”

“All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.”

“When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.”

“Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as Prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest people on Earth.”

“Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.”

“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”

“I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. They say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.”

“You can't say civilisation don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way, and in every invention they make life a bit easier.”